Do you remember the friend I mentioned from my Let’s Talk post?
Well, we talked…
Let me just start off with saying, I didn’t plan to talk to her. It happened organically. And in a nutshell, it was pointless. I’d go as far to say as it was a waste of time, but it wasn’t really. It helped me come to terms with the fact that this was who she was and nothing was going to change.
Maha and I were at a friend’s place (Noor). Maha came over and sat down next to me. She started asking me about how I was doing and what I had been up to. I shared some news about the latests projects I had been involved in and she gave me some backhanded compliments. I called her out on them. I wasn’t confrontational. I just asked her in a calm voice why she said her statements in that way. I don’t think saying “I didn’t know you were smart” and “I didn’t realize you had so many friends” are always meant maliciously, but Maha’s tone and when she inserts comments like these just give off a negative vibe. From her expression, it was clear that she was taken aback. She had gotten so used to making comments like that they didn’t even register as shade to her anymore. Or maybe they did but no one called her out on them and held her accountable for her words.
I explained why her comments bothered me. Maha shrugged them off. From her responses I could see why she didn’t see why I was offended by them. It didn’t register on any scale. To her, this was a normal conversation and saying those things to me was fine. I didn’t escalate the matter. I just needed confirmation that this was the type of person she was. She may not be trying to undercut me but her comments come with such negative energy that I can’t be bothered to deal with it anymore. I’d rather I have as little to do with her as possible.
If you want to be my friend, you need to be supportive. You should want me to succeed. My success doesn’t take anything away from you. Maha may think competing with a friend is normal but I value support, and she just doesn’t give it to me. This is important to me because I’m the type of person that will always cheer a friend on. I will always wish the best for them. I always want them to shine. Having them shine doesn’t dim my light. And so, I’m done with Maha and the other Mahas in my life. Moving forward, I want people who care around me and who push me to be my best instead of trying to tear me down and undercut me.